hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
