I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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