okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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