I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
