what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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