Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
