Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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