Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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