I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
