Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
