He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
