Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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