there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We are all done wearing pants today
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
