My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
