This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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