I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize