This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
handjob tips. give me some.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
