if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
