he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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