3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
