So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
