I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Send help, water and tortillas.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
