I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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