just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
