Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
