he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
