4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize