the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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