He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
