I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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