what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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