She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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