Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
