We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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