I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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