Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
pray to the hookup gods
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
