yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
