Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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