Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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