Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All I want is dick and wine.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
