Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
