I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
