does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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