Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
