Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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