I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
