My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My legs feel like baby dolphins
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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