Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
