You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
