I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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