Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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