Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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