your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
