the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
His hands were made for my vagina.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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