I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
