thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
