My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
