I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
