she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Come share oat with me in your robe
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
