she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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