If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have fence marks all over my body
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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