We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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