okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
