Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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