is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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