I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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