all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
